You Can't Do It...Until You Write A Blog About It

Why Am I Doing This?

For 133 days, I have been working to become a healthier version of me.

For the last 137 days, I have missed four days at the gym. That kind of consistency is not normal. That's the kind of consistency that is usually reserved for excuses.

It is so easy to make excuses. We make them every single day. Whether those excuses are for positive or negative things in our lives becomes the ultimate question.

Is the thing I am choosing to make time for helping or hurting my overall health as a human being?

If we look at all of our decisions that way, by how it is helping or hurting our health, we could start to begin the process of living our best life.

Living that best life and becoming the best versions of ourselves is beyond complicated.

We must factor in:

• Where we want to go?
• What we want to do?
• How we are going to get there?
• Who can help us?
• Are we willing to ask for their help? 

Ultimately, the first step belongs to us. We must make the decision to love ourselves enough to deem ourselves worthy enough to fight for.

No matter what our support system is and how much help we have, until we admit we are worth it, it will not matter.

I Have Been Heavy Most of My Life

Despite being an active kid throughout my childhood, I also had a healthy appetite. I loved snack food the most. I still do.

• Crackers
• Chips
• Cookies

I loved to grab a box or a bag of my favorite food and then sit on the couch and finish the bag.

• Nilla Wafers
• Doritos
• Wheat Thins
• Triscuits
• Ritz
• Fig Newtons
• Barnum's Animal Crackers
• Mother's Circus Animal Cookies
• Mother's Iced Oatmeal Cookies

I loved to eat an entire sleeve. That was my serving size. 

I did not eat until I was full. I ate until I was tired of eating.

My other frequent stop was fast food.

Jack in the Box was my most common stop. In high school, I would finish basketball practice, probably burning 2000 calories on the court and then eat it all back and then some afterwards.

My order: 

An ultimate cheeseburger meal with a large Dr. Pepper.

I would ask to replace the fries with bacon and cheddar potato wedges and order two tacos. 

I'd go with $10 and the total would be just under that.

Calculated out, that was about 2,310 calories, 118 grams of fat, 241 grams of carbohydrates, and 76 grams of protein. If only nutrition facts on fast food were available at the time, maybe I would have thought twice. Probably not.

Actually, I can almost guarantee I would not have because I have eaten many unhealthy things even after the nutrition facts on fast food became common knowledge. I knew that food was terrible for me, and I chose to eat it anyway.

I Was Lazy

I don't even think I thought the food was delicious. I think I just thought the food was easy to get and I was choosing to be lazy. 

Lazy is natural and even healthy at times. Sometimes, it's just our body telling us to take a break.  We have become so programmed to fill our day to the fullest and get the most out of our time that we forget to give ourselves breaks we deserve. By trying to squeeze every ounce of energy out of ourselves, we end up succumbing to more and more extremes in our lives.

For some, it may be dangerous, like alcohol and drugs. For me, it was a different kind of danger that is not talked about nearly enough: Food.

The Excuse of Food

We need food to survive. We need nutrients for our bodies to function. However, I let my taste buds determine what nutrients I would give myself and how often and I would make excuses to eat more than I needed to.

Excuses are part of our DNA. We will make excuses to do the things we decide to do. Making an excuse has always had a negative connotation, but we can make excuses for ourselves to improve our life.

A Positive Excuse

For the last 137 days, I have made the excuse to go to the gym and get healthy 133 times. I have sacrificed time away from my wife and son to make time for the gym. My son is three years old and every moment I have with him is so valuable to me. However, I also want him to grow up with the best possible chances to live a healthy life as well. 

One of the main reasons I started this journey 137 days ago was to make sure Aaron saw me living a healthy life. I had to make a decision about what he saw me do and what he heard me say. If you tell your son to eat his vegetables, and there are none on your plate, there is a disconnect there, even if he doesn't say anything. If you tell him to go outside and play when he gets older, and you sit on the couch all day, what does that tell him about exercise and how to spend your time.

Growing up, I would watch baseball, basketball, football, the Olympics and more, and I would sit on the couch and eat unhealthy while I watched. Now, as a kid, I would get antsy and go outside and mimic what I saw, but as an adult, I just stayed on the couch.

That was the red flag I didn't allow myself to see. I was doing the same things I did as a child, but I wasn't running around and playing as an adult. 

My Wife and I Made a Commitment

My wife and I made a commitment to get healthy before Aaron was born.

We sat down and had a long talk. We cried. We were honest. We cried some more. It was October 28, 2013. I remember the date, because we made a commitment to each other to get healthy so when we had a baby, that baby would have their best chance at a healthy life. 

A year later, I was running in a half marathon. Running is a relative term. I was slowly jogging, but I passed the 15k mark without stopping.  I was jogging at a 14-15 minute mile pace, so even some people with long legs were walking alongside me. I began cramping after the 15k mark, but crossing the finish line was one of the great accomplishments of my life.

I had always been a speed guy, and never had any interest in long distance running. In high school, I ran a 4.8 40 yard dash, and ran the 4x100, 100 and 200 meters for four years in track and field. I never even ran a mile in P.E. without walking at some point.

One time, the first time I ever tried to lose significant weight in 2009, I tried running on a treadmill for as long as I could and ended up running two miles straight. The idea I could ever run 13.1 miles at once was about as foreign to my body makeup as anything else I could do. It felt about as likely as dunking a basketball at 5 foot 6 inches tall.

I Ran a Half Marathon. Anything is Possible

I had no business running a half marathon. I had no reason to think I could do it. I had no background to suggest I could do it. And yet, I did it. I put in the hours. I put in the days. I put in the work and I crossed the finish line. I don't remember what my time was. It was irrelevant to me. Crossing the finish line was the literal and figurative ending I needed to know I could finish something I thought was impossible. 

After Aaron was born on September 12, 2015, I stopped working out. I had stopped about a month or two earlier as my workout partner, my wife, couldn't go to the gym anymore. I chose to stay at home instead of continuing to put in the work. 

Between about August of 2015 and July of 2018, I rarely went to the gym. There were weeks where I told myself, "I'm going to start going to the gym again." I'd go for a few weeks and I'd use training sessions I had built up to get in some workouts, but then I would stop going again.

I'd say I wanted to spend more time at home with my wife or I wanted to spend more time with my son. The problem was, that Danielle and Aaron would have understood. I know they would have understood because they understand now.

Aaron is one of the main reasons I am motivated to go on this journey

By choosing to make time for the gym, I was choosing to live my best life. By choosing to stay home instead, I was allowing myself to make excuses instead of doing what I knew was best for me.

0.0095% of My Life

This journey may be more than four months old, but I am 38 years old. This journey is such a small percentage of my life.

0.0095% of my life to be exact.

In my 38 years of life, more than 30 have been spent making bad choices about what I eat and most of the last 17 years have been spent making bad choices about how much I exercise. 

I stopped playing college football at 21, and ever since, finding consistency with my exercise has been embarrassing. 

For someone who found time to play sports my entire childhood and loved being active, I deactivated pretty easily. 

I Cannot Go Back.

I cannot let that happen to me again. This blog and everything I have posting for the past 137 days on Twitter to show my journey has been in part to hold myself accountable.

It is harder to give up on a dream when you shout that dream from the rooftops and let everyone hear and see your journey and your progress. They become a part of that journey and they find inspiration in you pushing yourself beyond your limits of what you thought was possible. 

I must respect the journey by continuing to pursue it. It is worth it for me, for Danielle, for Aaron and for all of the people who have shared in my journey to health.

There Are So Many People On This Journey With Me

There are literally thousands of people who have shared my story, most of which were strangers before this journey began. Some have truly become a part of my family. They have their own journey to health going and we have pushed each other to reach our goals.

First and foremost is my wife, Danielle. She has been my rock on this journey. She has been my motivation since Day 1 and she has supported my dreams since the day we met. For the last ten years, I have become a better person just for knowing her. In the last four months, she has pushed me to go to the gym and made sure we carved out time for me to go. I could not do this without her and I am forever in love with her for so much. Helping me become healthier is one I may never be able to truly quantify. 

You can follow my journey on Twitter at @CantUntil where I have shared every tweet since Day 2.  You can also see some of the amazing people I have met on this journey, including @Dre2332, @RealCoachD101, @_MrWhite1, @IanBlairFal, and @KimSandFit31.

Dre will always have a special place in my heart. Dre was the person who began posting his daily journey to health on Twitter and watching him work hard made me want to work hard. Dre and his brother have been pushing each other each and every day since and it is truly beautiful and amazing to watch. 

I can only hope that some of the people that have seen my journey can be as motivated as I am watching them. 

Until the next blog post, never forget the hashtags: #ForMe #ForDanielle #ForAaron #ForMyFamily #AndForDre